You Know Exactly What I’m Talking About
You’re reading this right now, and you know. You know the pattern. You know the cycle. You know what you did last night. Or this morning. Or maybe you’re planning what you’ll do tonight.
You know the websites. The apps. The private browsing. The cleared history. The locked phone. The excuses to be alone. The lies about where you were or what you were doing.
You know the guilt that floods in immediately after. The shame. The “never again.” The prayers: “God, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.” The promises you’ve made a hundred times and broken a hundred and one.
You know what it’s like to be in church singing worship songs while remembering what you watched the night before. To hear a sermon on holiness and feel the weight crushing you. To avoid eye contact with other believers because you feel like a fraud.
You know the theological gymnastics you do: “God’s grace covers this.” “I’m only human.” “At least I’m not as bad as…” “I’m struggling, not sinning.” “I’ll stop after this one last time.”
And you know – deep down, in the quiet moments when you’re honest with yourself – that you’re not really struggling anymore. You’re choosing. You’ve made peace with it. You’ve learned to live with the guilt. You’ve redefined what backsliding means so you can stay comfortable.
You call yourself a Christian, but you’re living like the world. You claim Jesus as Savior, but you’ve rejected him as Lord. You say you believe the gospel, but you’re trampling on the blood that bought you.
Let me show you what your sin – YOUR specific sexual sin – cost Jesus Christ.
What Your Lust Did to Him
When Jesus was in Gethsemane sweating blood, your pornography was in that cup. Every video you’ve watched. Every image you’ve lusted over. Every fantasy you’ve entertained. Every time you’ve used another person’s body for your pleasure – even digitally, even in your mind. All of it was there.
Every woman you’ve objectified – reducing a human being made in God’s image to body parts for your gratification. Every man you’ve lusted after – treating them as a fantasy object rather than a soul. Every married person you’ve desired – coveting what belongs to another. Every moment you’ve preferred pixels on a screen to purity in your soul.
Jesus saw it all. Your browser history was in his mind. The things you’re ashamed of, the things you’ve never told anyone, the things you’ve tried to forget – he knew them all. And they were placed on his account.
When the Romans scourged him – when that flagrum tore his back to shreds – your sexual sin was being punished. Every lash was for your lust. Every strip of flesh was payment for your fornication. The blood pooling at his feet included the price for that “one last time” you promised yourself last week.
When they pressed the crown of thorns into his skull, your adultery was part of the weight. The affair you had – or the one you’re planning – or the emotional affair you’re calling “just friendship” – that drove thorns into his head.
When they nailed his hands, your masturbation was being judged. Those hands that only blessed, only healed, only gave – pierced because your hands have been used for self-gratification instead of self-control. You’ve taken the gift of sexuality God gave for marriage and prostituted it for momentary pleasure.
The Spiritual Betrayal
But here’s what’s worse than the physical torture: the spiritual horror you contributed to.
Jesus became your lust on that cross. The sinless one who never looked at a woman with impure desire became pornography itself. The pure one who never fantasized, never masturbated, never fornicated – he BECAME sexual sin.
Think about that. Jesus – who loved perfectly, who treated women with dignity when other men objectified them, who called his disciples to purity – was treated by God the Father as if HE were the one watching porn, as if HE were the one fornicating, as if HE were the one committing adultery.
When the Father turned his face away, your sexual sin was part of the wall between them. Your lust separated the Son from the Father. The communion Jesus had known for 33 years was shattered, and your pornography use was part of the barrier.
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
Part of the answer is: Because of that video you watched last Tuesday. Because of what you did in the shower this morning. Because of the affair you’re hiding. Because of the person you’re texting inappropriately. Because of the way you’ve made a god of your sexual desires.
Jesus experienced abandonment by God so you could be forgiven. He went through hell so you could be free.
And you went back to your sin anyway.
The Pattern You’re Living
Let’s be honest about what’s happening in your life:
You wake up with good intentions. “Today will be different.” Maybe you pray. Maybe you read a quick devotional. You feel determined.
Then the day progresses. Stress hits. Or boredom. Or loneliness. Or you see something that triggers you – an ad, an image, a person. And the craving starts.
You try to fight it. For five minutes. Maybe ten. You might pray a halfhearted “God, help me.” But you already know how this ends. You’ve made the decision before you even opened the app.
You indulge. You watch. You act out. You meet up with that person. You cross boundaries you swore you wouldn’t cross. And during – you’re not thinking about God. You’re not thinking about Jesus. You’re just feeding the craving.
Then it’s over. And immediately – IMMEDIATELY – the shame floods in. The guilt crushes you. “What have I done? Why did I do that again? I’m such a failure. God must be so disappointed.”
You might cry. You probably pray: “God, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I promise I’ll never do it again. Please help me. Please.”
You feel genuinely remorseful. You mean it when you say “never again.”
For about six hours. Maybe a day. Maybe, if you’re really trying, three days.
Then the cycle repeats. Again. And again. And again.
You’ve been doing this for how long now? Months? Years? A decade?
What You’re Really Saying
Here’s what you need to understand: Every time you go back to your sexual sin, you’re making a statement.
You’re saying: “Jesus, your suffering wasn’t enough to change me.”
You’re saying: “The blood you shed doesn’t have the power to break this chain.”
You’re saying: “My sexual pleasure is more valuable to me than your sacrifice.”
You’re saying: “I’d rather have five minutes of gratification than honor the six hours you spent dying for me.”
Hebrews 10:26-27 says: "If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God."
Read that again. DELIBERATELY keep on sinning. That’s you. You’re not accidentally falling into sin. You’re not being blindsided. You’re choosing it. You’re planning for it. You know exactly what you’re doing.
And it says “no sacrifice for sins is left.” There’s not another sacrifice coming. Jesus died once. That’s it. You either accept what he did and let it change you, or you reject it by trampling on it with continued sin.
Hebrews 6:4-6: "It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age and who have fallen away, to be brought back to repentance. To their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace."
Every time you go back to porn, you’re nailing Jesus to the cross again. Every time you fornicate, you’re mocking his sacrifice. Every time you commit adultery, you’re spitting on his wounds.
You’re taking the blood he shed and saying “not valuable enough.”
The Lie You’re Believing
You think you can have both. Jesus as Savior, but sin as your comfort. Forgiveness for eternity, but license for today. Heaven someday, but pleasure right now.
You’ve believed the lie that grace covers habitual, unrepentant sin. You’ve twisted “God’s mercies are new every morning” into permission to sin every night.
You quote 1 John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive." So you confess every time, thinking that's enough. Quick prayer, quick absolution, back to business.
But you ignore 1 John 2:4: "Whoever says 'I know him' but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person."
You ignore 1 John 3:6: "No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him."
You ignore Romans 6:1-2: “Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?”
True repentance isn’t feeling bad while planning to do it again. True repentance is turning away from sin, not just apologizing for it.
You’re not repenting. You’re just feeling guilty. There’s a massive difference.
The Adultery Against God
Here’s what makes sexual sin particularly heinous: it’s not just a sin against your body, or against another person. It’s adultery against God.
If you’re a believer, you’re the bride of Christ. The church is described as Christ’s bride. Your relationship with Jesus is supposed to be intimate, exclusive, passionate.
But you’re cheating on him. You’re committing spiritual adultery every time you choose sexual sin over purity.
Imagine a married man who tells his wife “I love you” and then goes and sleeps with other women. Then comes home, says “I’m sorry, honey, it won’t happen again,” and two days later does it again. And again. And again.
Would anyone accept that he really loves his wife? Would anyone believe his apologies are sincere? Would anyone think that’s a real marriage?
That’s you with Jesus. You sing “I love you, Lord” on Sunday. You pray “You’re my everything.” Then you go home and worship at the altar of your sexual desires. You commit adultery with porn, with fornication, with lust.
And you have the audacity to say you’re a Christian.
James 4:4: “You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.”
The Truth About Your Freedom
Here’s what you need to hear: You’re not a slave to this sin. You’re choosing it.
“But I can’t help it. I’ve tried to stop. It’s too hard. I’m addicted.”
No. You like it too much to stop. If I held a gun to your head and said “look at porn tonight and I’ll pull the trigger,” would you do it? Of course not. You’d find a way to resist.
The problem isn’t that you CAN’T stop. It’s that you DON’T WANT TO stop badly enough. You want deliverance, but you also want to keep sinning. You want freedom, but you also want the pleasure. You want to honor God, but you also want to gratify yourself.
Jesus said the truth would set you free. Here’s the truth: You’re not a victim. You’re a volunteer.
You schedule time for sin. You create opportunities. You put yourself in situations where you know you’ll be tempted. You maintain relationships you know are inappropriate. You keep the apps. You keep the contacts. You keep the escape routes.
That’s not struggling. That’s planning.
What It Will Cost You
Let me be crystal clear about where this road leads:
If you continue in unrepentant sexual sin, you will lose everything that matters.
You’ll lose your intimacy with God. It’s already gone, isn’t it? When’s the last time you felt God’s presence? When’s the last time prayer was more than guilt-driven begging? When’s the last time you read the Bible and it came alive instead of just condemning you?
Sin breaks fellowship. You can’t have intimacy with God while harboring rebellion. It doesn’t work that way.
You’ll lose your witness. People aren’t stupid. They can see you’re living a double life. Your coworkers know something’s off. Your family senses the distance. Other believers see the inconsistency.
And when you fall publicly – because you will if you don’t repent – you’ll give unbelievers a reason to mock Christ and you’ll devastate believers who trusted you.
You’ll lose your relationships. Sexual sin never stays contained. If you’re married and you’re watching porn, you’re destroying your marriage whether your spouse knows it or not. If you’re fornicating, you’re defiling what God intended to be holy. If you’re having an affair, you’re obliterating families.
The hurt you’re causing – or will cause – is real. Lives will be shattered. Trust will be destroyed. Children will be traumatized. And you’ll carry that guilt forever.
You’ll lose your soul. This is the big one. This is what you need to hear, even though you don’t want to:
1 Corinthians 6:9-10: “Do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”
Did you catch that? “Will NOT inherit the kingdom of God.”
Not “might not.” Not “it’ll be harder.” WILL NOT.
Galatians 5:19-21: “The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery… I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
Revelation 21:8: “But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”
If you continue living in unrepentant sexual sin, you’re proving you were never truly saved. “They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us” (1 John 2:19).
True believers can fall into sin. But they don’t LIVE in sin. They don’t make peace with it. They don’t keep choosing it over Christ.
The Call to Real Repentance
So here’s what needs to happen right now. Not tomorrow. Not after “one last time.” RIGHT NOW.
You need to stop lying to yourself. Stop calling it “struggling” when you’re choosing. Stop blaming circumstances, stress, loneliness, or your past. Stop making excuses.
You need to see your sin the way God sees it – as cosmic treason. As adultery against Christ. As trampling on the blood that was shed for you. As saying Jesus’ death wasn’t worth more than your orgasm.
You need to feel the weight of what you’ve done. Not just to yourself, but to Jesus. You’ve made him bear your sexual sin on the cross, and then you went back and committed the same sins again. You’ve treated his sacrifice as worthless.
You need to confess – really confess. Not the quick “sorry God” you’ve been saying. But get on your face before God and cry out for mercy. Acknowledge specifically what you’ve done. Name it. Call it what it is – sin, rebellion, adultery, betrayal.
You need to cut off access. Jesus said if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out. If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. He meant radical amputation of anything that leads you into sin.
Delete the apps. All of them. Block the websites. Install accountability software. Give someone access to your phone. End the inappropriate relationship – today, not gradually. Stop going to the places where you meet that person. Delete the numbers. Block the contacts.
“But that’s too extreme.”
Hell is extreme. Jesus’ suffering was extreme. Your sin is extreme. The solution needs to be extreme.
You need accountability. Real accountability. Not just someone who asks “how are you doing?” but someone who asks “Did you watch porn this week? Did you meet up with that person? Show me your phone right now.”
Find a pastor, a mature believer, someone who will speak truth to you even when it hurts. Someone who loves you enough to call you out and check on you and pray with you and won’t let you make excuses.
You need to replace. You can’t just stop sinning. You have to start pursuing righteousness. Get into the Word daily. Not to feel better, but to know God. Join a men’s group or women’s group where you can be honest. Serve somewhere that gets you around other believers and keeps you busy.
Find healthy ways to deal with stress, boredom, loneliness – the things that trigger you. Exercise. Build friendships. Get involved in ministry.
You need to fight. This won’t be easy. The first days will be brutal. The cravings will be intense. You’ll want to give in. You’ll come up with reasons why “just once more” would be okay.
You have to fight like your soul depends on it. Because it does.
The Sufficient Grace
Now here’s the good news – and it’s REALLY good news:
Jesus’ blood is sufficient even for this. Even for your years of porn use. Even for your fornication. Even for your adultery. Even for the depths of your sexual sin.
1 Corinthians 6:11, right after listing sexual sins: “And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”
WERE. Past tense. Some of the Corinthians had been sexually immoral. But they were cleansed. Changed. Made new.
That can be you. But it requires real repentance. True turning away from sin, not just feeling bad about it.
The blood Jesus shed on the cross – the blood that flowed from his scourged back, from the crown of thorns, from the nails in his hands and feet, from the spear in his side – that blood is powerful enough to wash away every sexual sin you’ve committed.
But you have to come to him in true repentance. You have to turn away from sin and turn toward him. You have to die to self and live for Christ.
Romans 6:6-7: “For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.”
If you’ve truly died with Christ, you’re free from sin’s power. Not free to sin, but free FROM sin. The chains are broken – if you’ll accept that freedom and walk in it.
The Choice
You’re at a crossroads right now. This moment matters.
You can close this, feel convicted for a few hours, and then go back to the pattern. You can tell yourself “I’ll deal with this later” or “I’ll gradually work on it.” You can keep living the double life, keep trampling on grace, keep mocking Jesus’ sacrifice.
And you can face God’s judgment for it. Because judgment IS coming. “Man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment” (Hebrews 9:27). You will stand before God and give account for every secret thing, every hidden sin, every moment you chose lust over love for Christ.
Or you can repent right now. Truly repent. You can get on your knees and cry out to God for mercy. You can confess your sin and ask for power to turn from it. You can decide, in this moment, that you’re done – truly done – with sexual sin.
And you can experience real freedom. You can know what it’s like to walk in purity. To pray without guilt crushing you. To worship without hypocrisy. To live as who you truly are in Christ – holy, righteous, free.
Jesus didn’t suffer and die so you could keep sinning comfortably. He suffered and died to SET YOU FREE from sin’s power.
The question is: Will you accept that freedom? Will you walk in it? Will you honor what his suffering purchased?
Or will you trample on his blood one more time?
The choice is yours. Choose today. Choose life. Choose Christ. Choose freedom.
Because the alternative is death. And hell is forever.
What To Do Right Now
If the Spirit is convicting you – and if you’re reading this, He is – here’s what you do immediately:
- Stop reading and pray. Get alone with God. Get on your face. Confess everything. Hold nothing back. Cry out for mercy.
- Delete, block, end everything that’s connected to your sexual sin. Do it now. Not after you finish reading. NOW.
- Call or text someone you trust – an elder, a pastor, mentor, mature believer – and say “I need help. I’m battling temptation right now. Please pray for me.”
- Start reading the Bible daily. Start with Romans 6-8. Let God’s Word reshape your thinking.
- Find a Bible-believing church if you’re not in one. Get plugged in. Get around believers who will challenge you and encourage you.
Jesus is offering you freedom today. Real freedom. Not freedom TO sin, but freedom FROM sin.
Will you take it?
Or will you go back to the prison you’ve grown comfortable in?
The cross was enough. Jesus’ blood is sufficient. The Spirit is able to empower you to live in holiness.
But you have to choose it. You have to want Jesus more than you want sexual sin. You have to treasure Christ above temporary pleasure.
What will you choose?
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